Y oh Y???....

Why do I feel like I'm missing something? I see Jinni, Rachel and Francis day in day ot going to school for teaching practise and find myself wondering have I made the right choice? Was postponing my studies just for a free trip to US really worth it? I will not have the support that I'll get like now if I go for teaching practise next year, comfortable with my batchmates who I've come to be close with. Instead YR and I'll be left hanging with the juniors and I wonder is that a good thing? Will I get the support system that I will get now? Will it be tougher? Will I get along with the juniors? Will the conditions be as favourable to me next year as it would be to me this year?

All the sudden the grass on the other side just got greener. I have the urge to go do teaching practise and ditch US. But all is too late. I've already chosen this path and must continue with it as there is NO TURNING BACK!!!. I can't turn back time or travel with a time machine and go back to December. There is nothing I can do as I feel powerless fighting against my pass decisions.

Y the sudden impluse to want to experience what the rest is experiencing I dun know. BUT 1 thing is for sure, I think the feeling of looking back will continue to happen this week as I wait in A5-1, HM patiently till Monday to collect my Visa at Wisma MCA.

How do I make it go away I dun know but I hope it will. I do not want to regret not going to US but I will forever remember it as the reason that i'm not convoing in 2010 with the TESL batch of 2006/2007==> the ONE THING that I feel I've paid a high price in exchange for the year of experience. I SO GONNA MISS THEM!!!! And not convoing with them just makes it sucky!!!!

Call my old. Call me sentimental. Call me 生在福中不知福 but I feel like apart of me is griefing for the inability to be in the field with the rest of you guys now. The pain, the grief and the sweat, the tears that all of you are going through right now I'll never know till next year when I go through it myself. Therefore useless I stand as I have NO IDEA what to do as I'm always have and idealistic view till I go into the REAL world.

Went through my Visa interview today and watch Ice Age 3. All went down according to plan and I can only pray that the plas will continue to flow nicely.

BTW, I'm in PJ now....Ciao