As THE DAY draw near...

How time flies, its now less than 20 days away-18 to be exact- b4 i fly off 2 US.

IT has been a holiday that I have wanted after 3 yrs of the course. I always felt that 3 yrs was too long for a TESL course and wanted a change of environment. However, now that I've got it, I've new things coming to mind. WHAT IF I didn't get it and had continued wif my studies? WHAT IF it was all for nothing but fun and games? WHAT IF this was not really what I wanted? WHAT IF? WHAT IF?....

All that aside, I've started to plan my packing. What to bring? What to buy? buy here or buy there? OH the 1000 million things to think abt. I suck sometimes, especially when Dad is away at Melacca and I need stuff done that only he can do when he is around. I'm leaving in less than 18 days and all he ever think abt is his STUPID tender happening. Heck he spends more time wif his computer when he is home than us. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I've nvr felt like this b4? Y am I so hung up of my father spending time wif me? Y do I feel like my parents love my sibs more than me? Am I jealous because I'm selfish? Y do i feel unappreciated by them?....

Growing up its always been that I have to get stuff done by myself if I want stuff. I always have to find my own way to get stuff done whereas they hv everything given to them. I have to sacrifice just because i'm Koko. I hv to go f6 because no money if I go overseas. I hv 2 go public Uni so that they can go college. I hv 2 find my own scholarship because they are not gonna be able to afford wif Sibs going to college BUT when I grad, I MUST help PAY for their education especially when they go overseas, be it UK, NZ or Australia!!! WHERE IS THE FAIRNESS WEI!!!!

ANYWAY...back to the main point, I'm leaving soon but I'm so not prepared. Just started listing today and man do i hv lots of stuff to bring... hvn't even decided which luggage 2 bring, how many to bring, what to bring, when wanna leave for KL, where to stay when i'm in KL b4 I fly off..oh the things to think abt!!! HEADACHE AH!!! Some more hv 2 visit relatives b4 I leave... aiyo....

Oh well...I suppose it should all come to pass and I will soon look back and smile at this, but for now....ARGH!!!!....

Ciao=D