Sayang....Kau Kau will always miss you:'(

My 5 Ee passed on 4 days ago and I left KL on Thurday afternoon.

I'm was super sad then and still am. I know i may sound unrational but I still want her with me. She was sick lah and it was better that she went back to the Father and thus ended her suffering but still...I was not ready to say good bye. She was only 46. How am I suppose to accept that! My 'sayang' always wanted me stay with her but I always had to leave for KL. Stupid UM at Stupid KL. Y can't it just be in Penang, then i don't need to leave Penang!T.T

When had fun together. She was only double my age. She the 1 who took care of me when I was young and kena buli by my other cousins. She was the one who took me go jalan-jalan. She was the one who took me to my 1st movie outing at Rex cinema and together we took the bus there and back. She was always there. Now she is gone! GONE!!!Yes she's gone HOME to be with the LORD but I still want her here!SOB!

When she was cremated I was crying buckets. I don't know how the other can withhold their tears but I was all blury...I didn't get to talk 2 her for the last time. When I wanted to call her 3 days b4 she went down hill, she couldn't talk to me,she just didn't have the strength to and i know it was bad. SHE never refuse to talk to me. She was always excited to talk 2 me. Now we can never talk again! I'll never hear her voice again and it pains me!!!!!

When I was told about her death, I had a dream then she was sitting in the living of of my Grandma's house in blue. All her sister's were helping her mother decorating and she was just sitting on the floor. her favorite spot when we are always talking. She was just looking around, happy that everybody is with her. How I'll miss her simple joys in everything.

Sayang has taught me a lot. She always love me calling her that.She would smile and always said that she wanted to follow me to I leave to further my studies overseas. She would want to tag along and cook for me. Now...sigh...

We put her to rest today and it was sunny. She loved sunny days. She loved to sing. Now...I can only have memories of that...

I WANT MY 5 EE BACK!!!! but sadly My God loved her more and took her HOME and in a way, it was good as it ended her suffering on earth to a better place.

Till we meet again 5 Ee...Sayang...