Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I wanna run!!!!!!

I want 2 be liberated...I wanna be free...I wanna be released...

I can't wait 4 this two weeks 2 pass. In fact i want it 2 be over NOW so that I can go back HOME!!!...

Rest assured, i'm not homesick. Its been 3 years since i left home so i can deal with that. in fact i'm happy that i'm out of home as I've learned a lot from this out of home experience. i feel that i've really grown a lot from all this 3 years.

It just that this sem has been tough, especially the last month. Assignments, presentations and more assignments, its too much. I feel like i've studied enough. 4 years is too long. I wanna escape. I wanna run. I wanna drop all this crap n just dun look back.

So now all i do is moan n cry n wish 4 8/4/2009 to come so that i'll be free...free..free...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Drained...

I feel empty n hollow inside.

I dun feel like i have anything more inside of me 2 give to this world.

Worst thing is there are exams, tests and presentations 2 attend 2 but i just dun feel like i've anything 2 give.

I feel zapped out, drained n lost. I feel so uncertain about the future. Unable 2 plan 4 things 2 happen n work through the months n weeks is so not me.

I seem 2b losing control over my life n i can't stand 2 c it slip by n do nothing. I gotda do something! Anything! but i just have no strength left...just 2 hollow 2 give.

James rite! how do i give bread if i myself dun eat bread?

I need 2 recharge, rejuvante and re-energize myself.

I need 2 find, comfort, confidence n composure.

and for that, i need HOME, FAMILY, SOLITUDE!!!

sigh...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Things are slowly coming to place...

I've made ammends and now i will leave it to play out as life would want. not bothering anymore:P

Super happy d! All work is done! no more late nites cause all written assignments are down the drain! they have all been signed, sealed and delivered so whatever happens now, happens la. I still have 2 more presentations to do and thats about it. Listening test as well as improptu speech will b on monday and then speaking is on next monday and then...IT"LL BE OVER!!!! can't wait 4 it 2 be over...I wanna go home and rest during study break. I NEED 2go home and rest during study break.

This month has been an emotional roller coaster. Friendships were tested, assignment presure and the late night, last minute work is just too much to handle. I just hope all this will just go away n nvr return. I dun wanna do this anymore:P

Ok la. Got 2 go live life and pray that this month's 'adventures' would soon come 2 an end. Ciao:P

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Do I disgust u?

Do i? Do I?

Is it that bad until u have 2 hide urself from me?

Do I really disgust u that badly that u have 2 resort 2 not coming back for 2 days now?

U said it was fine d but ur actions show otherwise. If u have a problem with me, come find me! Don't run and hide...

I have no problem facing u coz i dun c anything wrong but if u do, come face me! I won't eat u, i won't shout.

But if it's because of HER that's making u avoid me then that settles it!!! I would be lying if I say I'm not mad but I'll take the high road. I CHOOSE TO TAKE THE PATH LESS TRAVELLED BY and I'll leave u guys alone. At the same time, I truely, sincerely wish u both all the best in ur future undertakings from the bottom of my heart...

BUT know this as well....

I'm truely disappointed with u...T.T

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Only time will tell....

It has already happened and i can't do anything about it. I can't turn back time and take back what i said but i dun regrat saying those words. I'm sad that it got misinterpreted and cause all this unhappiness 2 happen but at least we've talked about it and solved it. I hope it is buried and dead n will not come 2 haunt us in the future, if we ever will have one after this!!!

I hope u know i value our friendship A LOT. Words would not even begin to describe how much IT HURTS after all the shit that we've been through for the past coming 3 years but if u choose to put that 1 and a half years in front of us then i can only say i'm disappointed and i wish u well...

I love to have things like they were b4 but i KNOW it will not ever happen. Things will never be the same again. I HOPE, SERIOUSLY HOPE from the bottom of my heart that i am wrong and u do the very least still hold our friendship as dear as i do...

It did not play out as how i wanted it to be. The aim was her, NEVER U. It hurt the wrong person and i admit it was wrong for us to assume that u would look at it our angle. It backfired. It was meant to UPSET, not ploted against because we was jealous and wanted u to fail n fall. There was NEVER, EVER the intention of seeing u fall or fail. That was NEVER, EVER there. IT was all misinterpreted because of A word and the both of u don't even know its true meaning!!!U know as well as i do that I've always supported u in whatever u were planning on doing. U always ran them by me and i just gave u my opinion. I know u look up to me but i'm only human, i made a mistake...

Oh how i wish it will be over and we were back to how we were. Things were good then but now it is so awkward and to a certain level, fake. Will it ever be the same again? Will the wounds ever heal? or will it leave a scar so deep that it would take forever to heal?

...Only time will tell:'(...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

WTH????!!!!

If you have something about me that u dun like,say it!!!

Confront me if u don't like what i did, dun hide and sulk, that's just stupid!!!

U run the whole day, skip class, won't return my sms, WTF???

When i told u about it, u said u were fine. U said it was an open competition. U TOLD me not to worry. I took ur word for it and didn't probe further. Then now u suddenly turn, run n hide. whats the matter wif u, huh?

Man up man!!! Talk n solve the problem when u have 1, dun run n hide in ur gf's house. Confront me!!! Let me know ur un happy!!! Then u'll know y i did what i did!!!

So damn angry rite now that i'm using those words initials that i normally would not use. WTF!!!WTH!!! SHIT man!!!

Friday, March 13, 2009

HaPPY BirthDay RACHEL!!!

As i now write this, there are still piling assignments to be completed and presentations to be presented tomorrow but i'm typing a post for a reasons i do not know y..haha

Celebrated Rachel's Birthday today at chili's with Jinni, Hugh and Ling Sii. Had lamb and nachos and bottomless drinks. After the whole thing, we even had cake from Secret Recipe, Tiramisu and Hazel indulgence. The waiter(whom the girls thought was super cute:P)name was Sudan and he was very helpful. He had initaitive and helped us to take a picture without us asking at all. All i needed to do was to stand up with the camera and asked everyone to sit closer and he just came and said "Sir let me help u" So nice of him. The girls gave him a super polished remark in the comment card and he was happy and smiling when he saw what was written in it. When shopping after that for awhile even though we all had assignments to do. Ah...college years:P



The picture that Sudan took for us:)

I'm sitting in the living room of my apartmen with the smell of rotten egg. Someone had kept eggs till they are rotten and now the whole place smell like the black ink for chinese caligraphy. stinky but anyways...

Have to get back to work. Ciao...